The Hips Don't Lie...

...and mine are saying,

"A mermaid fit? Really, sweetheart?"

Wedding dress shopping is not fun. I've gone to a few places this week and its exhausted me about three dresses in each time. I was so weakened by Wednesday night's trip that my friend and the saleswoman were speaking about me as if I weren't there:

• Saleswoman: "Oh, she's exhausted."
• Friend: "The poor thing's just deflated."
• Saleswoman: "She has to realize it's not her. Our samples are just so small. But, really, our samples are bigger than most."
  

"It's not her? It's us, but we're better than most?" What the hell? Am I getting dumped by the House of Brides? Aren't you not, by definition, supposed to talk about the Tulle-covered Elephant in the room?

In their defense, they may have honestly forgotten that I was there, as I spent 50% of the shopping trip with my head stuck inside dresses after their size 8 waistlines got stuck around my chest. I think that I may have demanded that they cut one off. I'm not sure, though, as post-traumatic syndrome has caused me to block the experience.

It frightens me that there is an entire industry built on people handing over thousand(s) of non-refundable dollars for something that they've only held against their bodies because the sample size is a size 8 that "runs small."

I will triumph, I know it. Just as millions of hippy sisters before before me have. There have been two dresses that I've tried on that I just adore, but both are out of my price range. I can't stop thinking about the one. Andy keeps telling me to stop worrying about the price, but they're way beyond my already-increased-$500 budget.

One of my two loves is very comparable to this dress, for which have been looking EVERYWHERE, to no avail:

Photo: Watters

Fingers crossed that Macy's calls me back with good news (i.e., that they have it). If not, I'll be trekking it out to the suburbs to look for it next weekend. This dress is my last affordable hope!