Thursday, July 31, 2008

More Ridiculous Shoes

I walked by this Christian Louboutins in Nordstrom the other night. Wouldn't they be perfect for my dress if they weren't nine feet tall and didn't cost $865?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Project 4-1-1

I'm off to the Northwoods for an unexpected mini-cation. All that I have to say is that St. Germaine, Wisconsin better be the most beautiful place in the universe to justify sitting in a car for 12 hours roundtrip for a two day break. Then this weekend is the Gyspy Kings concert at Ravinia! The GK concert is seriously one of my favorite events of the summer! I'm sorry that this is such a wordy post. You can ignore it and not hurt my feelings. :)

Image: IMBD

I was re-reading my posts from last week. I was pretty stressed, huh? Here's an update on everything. And I promise to be more sunshine and roses and happy thoughts from this point forward:


  • Good News: The gocco's been fixed! An employee at the Paper Source Warehouse (insert a rapid heartbeat here) suggested using paint thinner. Well, with some paint thinner and lots of elbow grease, it worked! All of the carbon is removed from the plexiglass staging area! I made some very lovely note cards on Saturday night.
  • Good News II: The huge gocco project that I've been talking about the last few weeks is finished! Yes!

  • Bad News: My index finger is still bruised from the cleaning process. Whenever I move it, I can feel it in my elbow.

  • Good News: None
  • Bad News: Well, the printer did NOT reprint the invitations. They removed the crop marks, but the design is still off-center. I don't have the balz to request a reprint or any sort of compensation, so I am letting it die. I am going to address them and package them so that I don't have to look at them anymore. I take full responsibility for them, as I am the one without nads.
Address Labels
  • Good News: So, remember back in May, when I posted about how much I hate cutting things? Well, I coughed up $20 and outsourced the label cutting to someone on etsy who had a "professional cutter" and could do them in minutes. Sweet.

  • Bad News: They look like shit. I am not going to mince words. You can see the black border outline on some of them and the cuts aren't even on all of them. They're even DIAGONAL  on some. I could have done that myself and saved $20. And, of course, the ones going to boys who don't care turned out great. I spent a few hours on Saturday trying to correct as many as I could, but as I was cutting my brother's label, I realized that he probably won't even open his invitation and I lost my steam. Most of the messed up ones are going to people who won't look that hard, so I am giving it up. It's not like I'm inviting Mindy Weiss or Martha Stewart. And, honestly, *I* am the only person that I know who would look at that and make fun of the person sending it for doing a shitty cutting job. Seriously, I really would do that. My family yells at me all of the time for being a bitch.

  • Bad News: Turns out that our A7 response postcard is full-size mail. I bought 41 cent stamps for them. Damn. Anyone need 120 41 cent stamps?
  • Good News: I definitely won't be using the beareded clam postcards stamps on my RSVPs!

Have a good week everyone!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Virtual Registry

I need a break from wedding stuff and am procrastinating on cleaning the condomaximum by doing some computer maintenance. I finally uninstalled the piece of sh*t memory hog that is McAfee. Good riddens! Has anyone else experienced problems accessing Blogspot pages today? I can view them in Reader, but the connection times out when I try to access actual sites. I was able to view them at work without problem.

I am taking advantage of the scan time to do some mindless online browsing. I think that I should get one of these!

And one of these:

Jenny Craig Week 6

  • This Week's Weigh-in: -1 (I suck. I hate chicken fingers for dinner last night.)
  • Total Loss: -12.2
  • Pounds 'til Goal: 26.6
  • This Week's Focus: Exercise

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Unbride's Save the Dates

I can't believe that the blogosphere hasn't made a bigger deal about The Unbride's t-shirt save the dates. As always, she's the coolest.

Images: The Unbride

Speaking of cool brides, this afternoon I attended the wedding ceremony of the new Mrs. Dan, Tara from In This Instance. First of all, she looked BEAUTIFUL. Gorgeous. I had never met her before and she's definitely a hot chick. Her and Dan were both beaming during the ceremony. And she did a fantastic job at the venue. Her tabletops were gorgeous. I can't believe that she made those tablecloths herself! It was so fun seeing all of the blog posts and e-mails coming to fruition.

Friday, July 25, 2008

I Want Cigarette Girls...

...who wear flowers in their hair and carry hawker boxes bebazzled with feathers.

And, thanks to the new Elizabeth Anne Designs Library, I know where to get them. Man! Do I wish that the EAD Library was around when I first became bethrothed! Just having a list of vendor sites on which to prowl for eye candy is like a virtual Christmas morning. Although, in their words, it sounds much more purposeful:
We are incredibly excited to announce our new project, The EAD Library. After months of development and research, we are launching a new resource for brides tomorrow, Tuesday July 22nd. The Library is filled with hundreds of useful links, from photographers to shops to stationers. Our goal is a simple, comprehensive list of vendors. The Library will help every bride, no matter her location, find the vendors and inspiration she needs for a beautiful event.
Go check it out!

P.S. Tara's gettin' hitched this weekend! Yeah!

I Hate Computers

I just stayed up well past my bedtime and spent 15-20 minutes typing up a huge blog post. I tried copying and pasting an image to another line, which crashed Internet Explorer and wiped out my post. Son of a B*tch.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Yeah! I Fit Into My White Pants!

Totally not wedding-related, but I am getting dressed for work and was able to squeeze my ass into my white pants! They so didn't fit a month ago and they're definitely a summer staple for me. Yes! Don't hate me for my sweet tight ass, y'all.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

It's an Ona Miracle!

First, thank you so much for all of your compliments on the invites. I wasn't even fishing for compliments! I'm blushing as I type this.

So, here's what went down with the invites. A coworker came over to my desk to ask what I decided to do about the invites. I told him that many of my blog friends told me to ignore it, but mentioned that I should check all of the copies for severity in the shifting. As we talked, I opened up the box to pull out the stack of invites and found crop marks on them! There are crop marks showing on the top and bottom right corners of every invite and on the lower left corner and back of many invites. I brought a handful over to the printer this afternoon. She called the crop marks "unacceptable" and offered to reprint the invites. Yeah! She's going to let me work with the typesetter to make sure all of the alignment issues are fixed too. I compared them to the original mock-up that I brought in and the difference was substantial.

Those crop marks are a blessing in disguise! I got what I wanted without even having to fight! My Grandma Ona passed away very suddenly last week after a mercifully brief battle with ovarian cancer. Andy coined the term "Ona Miracle" at the funeral and now we're calling anything good that happens an "Ona Miracle." I know that calling crop marks on invites a "miracle" is a bit of a stretch, but maybe giving her credit will score her a good seat next to JC. Then again, I pity Jesus if He sent her to the back of the line!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

There's a Reason That There are Pros.

I wasn't planning on showing my invites until after they've been mailed, but I really need an opinion. I just received them back from the printer today and the cover appears to have shifted to the left during printing. I am trying to find the mock-up that I approved, but it's missing in our messy house. (The wedding projects are running us out of house and home!) Anyway, here's our invite:

At the top of the page, the "we do!" is not centered. I think that you have to really be looking to notice that. But the dots also seem to have shifted to the left. Look at the spaces between the two coral dots at the edge. Does all of the space at the edge look stupid? The image on the right shows the rectangle that I used to make the crop marks. Those two dots bled off the page in the files that I handed off.
On the bottom, the "do you?" is aligned too far to the left. Also, the bottom crop mark is too low. The original design had all of the circles bleeding off of the page, as shown by the rectangle on the bottom page.
What do you think? Should I complain? Four coworkers, my boss, Andy, my friend VP, and her graphic designer husband all think that I'm nuts. My boss accused me of being a bridezilla and my coworker told me "It's not like you're entering them in a graphic design competition." But, I busted my ass on them, spent a lot of money on them, and everyone knows that I made them. And I know how I'd be if I got these. On another note, I SUCK at sticking up for myself, so I don't think that I'd have the nerve to go to the printer and fight for a reprint. For having such a smart mouth, I'm a total pussy cat. All bark, no bite.
Please comment. Thanks!

Lazy Weekend Project

In hopes of trying out my Xyron before using it to attach the address labels to the invitations, I whipped up some favor tags this weekend. I need to pick up a repositionable cartridge for the Xyron, but here's the first half of the project. We're planning on handing out Garrett Popcorn at the end of the evening (unless we run out of money!)

As you can see, I am getting very lazy with my designs. If I can't use my 2-inch hole punch, I'm not doing it.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Oh No! My GO-CCO!

I am so fuming mad at myself! I just burned an image on my gocco without putting a screen in. The image burned to the plastic that holds the screen in place. Look at this sh*t:

I could cry. My gocco is BRAND NEW! This is only the ninth time I was using it! I don't know how I could have done this. I have panicked e-mails out to Judy at Northwoods and one other distributor that I found in the U.S. that I think has the right part. There is a company in Australia that has it, but the shipping will probably cost the same as a new machine.

Son of a b*tch. I am so annoyed. There has to be a Polish joke in here somewhere...

Jenny Craig Week 5

This Week's Weigh-in: -2.2
Total Loss: -11.2
Pounds 'til Goal: 27.6
This Week's Focus: Exercise

Friday, July 18, 2008

Need an Opinion on the Programs Please

I need some opinions on my programs. I am printing the tree logo on 5.5" circle cards from Paper Source, as shown by the "Cover" graphic below.

I was planning on using circles for the front and back covers and have the text spread out between the two, accordian style, as shown in the "Option 1" graphic below. This really limits the amount of text and details that I can share.

I thought about mounting a booklet behind the circle card cover, as shown in the "Option 2" graphic, so that I can print more details, but this doesn't seem as unique as the accordian style.

So what do you think? Option 1 -- minimalist or Option 2 -- booklet? Please comment. As always, thanks!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ceremony Officiant

Andy and I met with our ceremony officiant last week. He's a retired chaplain who does weddings for fun. He is an incredibly kind man who seems like he will do a nice job with the ceremony. If anyone's looking for an affordable officiant in the Chicago area, here's his contact information:

Chaplain Tom Brandsness

You can tell him that Tina and Andy sent you if he asks. He'll probably ask and I didn't tell him about my nerdy blog.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Jenny Craig Week 4

-1.2 for a total of -9. I'll take it. Only 29.8 to go!

Monday, July 14, 2008

An Etsy Bride Who is Much More Organized Than Me

Check out this cool etsy shop that I found last week! Etsy seller Go Against the Grain creates some nice add-ons for your wedding suite, such as logos, place cards, signage, and the map, napkins, and seating chart shown below. And she is very, very reasonably priced. I convo'd her and she's willing to take on my HUGE napkin order despite her own September wedding. We love her.

Images: Etsy seller Go Against the Grain

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I Am Broke.

Here's why:
$100 on eBay:
($124 savings; I'll hopefully wear these for the engagement photos. I may bag the Francesca skirt and wear these to my family shower in September.)

Image: J. Crew

New Bridal Shower Outfit from Banana
Sale Alert: Banana has half off of sale shoes!

I bought this dress in green. I love it. Andy said that it makes me look hot and, more importantly, skinny!

And I bought these earrings to wear with:

I can't find the shoes that I bought online and I'm too lazy to photograph them. They are HUGE white wedges. If I wear them while standing on the rug in the kitchen, I am almost eye level with Andy in them. They were only $25!

New Wedding/Shower Dress
((20% off coupon) I am hoping that I dress it up with heels for a wedding we're attending on 8/10 and dress it down with flats for my Sur La Table shower. They didn't have the green in chubby sizes. :( )

 Image: J. Crew

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I Knew The Day Would Come...

I actually completed an easy wedding project last weekend! I made these hang tags for the Out of Town bags. I am just about to blow my paper budget, so I couldn't allow myself to buy any hang tags or large shape punches. I tossed these together with some card stock and my 2" inch circle punch. They seriously took about 30 minutes and about 25 of those minutes were spent on me hemming and hawing with the layout. I am happy that I was able to work the skyline into the design. It's killing me to not give mad props to the city throughout my paper suite.

I think that they look great. I'll use leftover eyelets to attach the ribbons and hang them on the bags. Depending on how much time that I have the week of the wedding, I will either print the guest names on a separate circle tag and spray glue it on the back or write the names on the back.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Don't Be Upset that My Future In-Laws are Cooler Than Yours

I received another shower invitation over the weekend! Andy's aunt is hosting a cooking class/bridal shower for me at Sur La Table. Isn't that the most wonderful idea? I think it's his family's way of telling me that I better learn to cook for their boy! (Ha. Ha.) He does all of the cooking. He keeps saying that the All-Clad on the registry is "his" wedding gift. Gee, let me fight you on that one. Really.

Aren't the shower invitations cute? Also, they give me an excuse to go buy some new closed-toe shoes. (Wink, Wink) We'll be learning to cook Italian food. I can't wait to eat some non-Jenny Craig pasta.

Since I have to wear close toed shoes, I think that I'll exercise with a fabulous new apron. (Seriously, what are the chances of this apron being offered on etsy right now?)

Image: etsy seller Victoria White & Co.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Would This Be Too Much for My Bridal Shower?

Ha, Ha.

Image: J. Crew

I am trying my damndest to score these for a good price on ebay for the engagement pictures.

Image: J. Crew

Jenny Craig Week 3

Yeah! I lost 2.8 pounds last week! :) I am down a total of 7.8 pounds! Only 31 more pounds to go...

A few people asked about my Jenny Craig update last week. Big Shot Artist, while you were off gettin' hitched, I quit WeightWatchers and enrolled in Jenny Craig. I wasn't organized enough to do well at WW this time around. I still believe in the system for long-term maintenance, but I wanted to give myself a break. I selected J.C. because my friends have been successful with it and I really wanted something that would do the thinking for me. I could handle the discipline part if someone else could handle the food part for me. I'm kind of worried about the idea of going off of it eventually, but I'll worry about that after the wedding.

As for the food, it is a little more expensive than Lean Cuisines when they're not on sale, but I have been saving money in comparison to eating breakfast and lunch out every morning. And it's honestly good. Small, but good.

My workout schedule has been laxing lately. I've been suffering from a bit of insomnia and have been walking home from work instead of going to the gym, which is bad. It's my focus for this week.

Monday, July 7, 2008

We're Gettin' There!

I received a proof of the wedding invitations on Friday! There were a few things to fix (including one font error on my part -- of course!), but we should be good to go this week. Here's a sneak peek:

You can't tell it from the photo, but the paper is PERFECT. It makes all the difference. The design definitely looks more autumnal now. I had been worried about it looking springy. And the envelopes are going to be spectacular with these. It's the best incidental design I've ever come up with. I know that I should be ramped about these being finished, but I feel like a mom with post partum depression. I know that they should blow my socks off, but they don't. It's just like the Save the Dates. Sending them out was very anti-climatic too.

The address labels are off to Kinko's today! A million and a half thanks go to Kate for telling me to convert the Illustrator files to PDF files and then merge the PDFs into one file. I had been trying to figure out how to get 25 files to Kinko's without it costing me and arm and leg in file opening fees or an evening there fighting with their printers myself!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Do I Like These?

I have until Monday to figure out if I want to put photos of our parents' weddings up at the reception. (That's the 30-day return deadline.) Andy's mom has a cool photo of his parents cutting the cake on her nightstand and my parents have a few photos of their cool '70s cake with a champagne fountain. But I could return these and save the money. What do you think? Are photos of parents' wedding cake too played out? Do I like these frames? Or should I return them? I am tired. Can you tell? I think that I have Post Invitation Stress Syndrome. When will I ever accrue enough energy to go back to the gym?

I am so overtired from my almost all-nighter on Monday night that I stayed up late again last night. And somehow destroyed my house tonight without actually accomplishing anything. Now I have to clean up before I crawl to bed so that Andy doesn't wake up and slap a bitch. :(

P.S. Did Debra Messing wear fake n*pples on Will & Grace? I am watching reruns and, oh my, it must have been COLD in that studio.

P.S.S. Karen Walker is one of my favorite characters on TV. Ever. Lucy Ricardo will allways be my favorite, but Karen Walker is at least in the top 10.

P.S.S.S. I did a cool gocco project tonight. The flat cards are so much better. I can't wait to show you guys all of my projects! You'll want to crown me "Blog Geek of the Year" or maybe "Loser Who Should Sleep Instead of Wasting Time On Paper Crap."

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Grazi Again, Bella!

The image for the thank you cards is finished! I can't help but laugh every time that I look at it. Andy's such a good sport. A very tall, very good, sport.

It looks pretty close to the Designer Original, doesn't it?

I love the long card in the above image, but I am out of money so I have to gocco the TY cards. Depending on how well the size 10 cards lay in the gocco machine, I may have to go with boring 4-bar or A2 cards.

I highly recommend etsy seller, OneGirlTwoDogs. In true etsy fashion, she is so nice. She works blazin' fast and is very patient.

I hope that people realize that the TY notes are a joke and don't think that I'm an a-hole who wants her portrait everywhere!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Good Gocco News

I went to the River North Paper Source tonight and bought their entire stock of 4-bar soft white and eco white fold-over notecards. I did a trial run of about 20 cards and they look great! There are still a few splatters, but Andy said that they're only noticable because I am looking for them. (Of course he says that!) The girl at Paper Source said that it is most likely the grainy texture of the Luxe paper that was causing the splatter and smeared letters on my last batch. I wish that I could show you the before and after shots, but I can't yet...

Soup Nazi Image: Wikipedia

I still wish that I could figure out how to clean my screens for future use. Speaking of which, I thought that I read somewhere that you can only get 50-100 prints from one screen. Does anyone know if that's true? I probably should cough up the cash for English instructions. My Japanese is awful. Ha, Ha.

Brides and Blogs Happy Hour

The Brides and Blogs Happy Hour is scheduled for Thursday, August 14. If you didn't receive the evite would like to attend, please leave a comment with your e-mail address or send me an e-mail at I think that I've accounted for everyone that responded to the original post.

Natalie, will you forward it on to your friend? Her profile didn't have an e-mail address. Thanks!

I hope that everyone can make it! See you there!

Hal-le-lujah! Hal-le-lujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hal-le-lujah!

Can it be?
Is it real?
Please let these files be OK.

If I created my first draft on Thanksgiving, how am I up until 1:30 a.m. on the night that I go to print eight months later on the 4th of July? :( I have to be up in 3.5 hours to shower and get to work at 8:00 a.m. to meet the new guy. And he's a military retiree so I have to be on it so he won't make me drop and give 'im 20!

I can't believe that they're actually finished. El fin. Done. I also can't believe that I thought that I had 20 minutes of work left on these and had three other things on my To Do List for tonight and planned on being in bed by 10.

P.S. I think that watching this bug show for three hours straight is helping me. I am not covering my eyes anymore when they show roaches. If anyone sees even a SINGLE roach, they should call an exterminator immediately! Two roaches can cause an infestation within a month.

Chicago Wedding Bloggers Happy Hour

Tara and I think that it would be fun to get the Chicago brides together for a Happy Hour. We were trying to remember everyone's wedding dates to plan accordingly, but got lazy. If you're interested in attending, please use the poll on the right to select your preferred date and leave a comment. I'll send an evite out later.

Also, I don't know how many local girls read my blog, so please feel free to forward around.