Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Wedding Bands


I was chatting online with a friend yesterday and mentioned that I would possibly hold off on getting a wedding band if we ran out of money before the wedding. I appreciate and respect the ring and it's symbolism, but there's only so much change to go around. Also, because my engagement ring is kind of ornate, I've only found one band that hasn't rubbed against the pave on the side. I can get something affordable to use for the sake of ceremony, but then I really couldn't wear it with my engagement ring, which Andy is very proud of.

Do you think that I am wrong to offer to forego a wedding band for the sake of the budget? This caused my friend some "amazement." I thought that I was being mature by offering to skip the band. If I can find one less area for Andy to worry about coughing up cash, I will. Quite honestly, I feel a little guilty having such a nice engagement ring. I know what Andy sacrified to get it, so I feel bad asking for another $1,000 ring. What do you think? Am I focusing too much on the party and not enough on the meaning? Quite frankly, her reaction took me by surprise. I never realized that my possible decision would be interpreted that way. Andy and I discussed it and he said that it didn't hurt his feelings at all. He thinks that I should get my band no matter what, but is fine if I decide to put it off for awhile for peace of mind.

Please comment.


17 comments:

mary fran said...

no! you're not wrong! (at least i think you're not wrong, because i've thought of doing this same thing--and then springing for a wedding ring later.) nobody (but your friend) even has to know. i've been surprised at how many people have super-strong opinions about things i haven't given a second thought to. you two should do what *you* want to do--stick to your guns.

Blablover5 said...

My best friend just used her engagement ring as her band in the wedding.

Later she got a simple band to wear for work so she wouldn't damage her engagement ring.

Jenna said...

I am going to etsy my wedding bands. I think I can get something engraved and plain for less than $100 (maybe even $50). I figure that someday I can "upgrade" my bands if I would like. The band isn't significant because of the money spent on it, I think the significance is because it is your wedding band. I hope that even though I might not spend a lot of money on it, it will still be special to me, and that someday I will be able to pass it on to someone who can realize that as well.

missgrumplebottom said...

My fiance and I are just doing the cheap-y stainless steel bands for our ceremony, the going all-out later when we can actually afford it. He screwed himself over with a platinum engagement ring, so we just found the rings online and tried to match the finish of the band to my ring as best we could. AND it cost us less than $50, meaning I can afford the wedding dress I want! Woohoo!

PS Love your ring ... it looks very estate-esque.

Tara said...

I don't think you are in the wrong at all! Isn't jewelry just an object anyways? Do what works for you.

I opted to go for a simple band that is under $100... I wanted a celebration and a honeymoon so the 'fancy ring' can wait a bit.

Side note about a band working with it... a lady that I used to work with wore her {very gorgeous] eternity band on her left and her {very gorgeous} e-ring on the right... then they didn't rub/damage each other and really then they didn't take away from each other... Just an idea for when you do spring for the ring.

lifelovelipstick said...

I can certainly understand. However, for me personally, I can not WAIT to have a wedding band on my finger. To me, it screams "married!" Not only that, but I love the symbolism of a simple band that has no beginning and no end.

My ring is a simple solitaire that wasn't easy on my fiance's bank account, so I think I'm going to get a plain white gold band. I love the understated beauty of those. Added bonus - they are very inexpensive.

However, if you think you'd rather just skip the band, I've known many to do that. Just do what feels right for you.

Erica said...

Quite a few people do NOT wear bands if their engagement ring is enough for them.

My ring is shaped and many people have asked me if I'm getting a band, so I don't think it's a must-have item.

Also, you could wear it separately on your right hand after the wedding if you really want both.

Rachel said...

I've heard of people doing that. You can get a cheap band and then upgrade later if you wanted or just use your engagement ring.

paisana said...

Hi, long time lurker.

I guess it depends totally on what kind of ceremony you're having. For example, in the Catholic tradition, there's a section for the actual blessing of the ring. Therefore, if you purchased your wedding ring later, it wouldn't've been blessed and might not have the same level of meaning it otherwise would.

If this isn't a concern for you, then I guess it's moot, but personally, the things that are important to me are the ring, the food, the DJ and the photographer. Of those two, only the photographs and the ring last.

Just my $0.02

Riley said...

You know, I have thought and felt the same way you do. My ring is so much nicer than I expected, and in trying to watch the budget I have actually thought of putting off getting the matching wedding band that goes with it (it's a shaped ring and needs a shaped band to match and "fit"). The only problem is that we put the band on layaway a couple months ago, so we've been making (very small) payments on it, and I would hate to lose that money.
But if we didn't do the layaway thing, I would have totally forgone my band for now.
I don't think you're crazy at all!!

Riley said...

Your ring is GORGEOUS by the way!!

Mrs. Rippke said...

As long as you're totally happy with whatever choice you make then there's nothing wrong with it. Just don't do something you aren't 100% excited about. And don't skimp on anything that's really important to you, no matter what it is (dj, photos, rings, etc.) The day only happens once, and it goes SO fast. You never get to relive any of those moments...

ami @ elizabeth anne designs said...

it's jewelry - the important thing is that you're married! so totally wait and spring for the ring later. :)

Maria said...

I can totally understand - my ring is kinda...big-ish and really sticks out (it has colored stones) so it really doesn't match anything except a plain band.

But if you are totally comfortable with it then go on right ahead! No one has to tell you how to wear it, or what to wear for that matter.

In fact, we might just get me the simple band - The Aussie gave me a platinum band with 5 small diamonds spread throughout for my 18th birthday, and he wears it as his "engagement ring" for two reasons: 1. b/c of the engagement ring, I really can't wear the band anymore and 2. he wants something for himself as well.

HappyAmy said...

I was shocked to read of your friend's response. Most of the people I know are skipping the band simply bc their e-rings are ornate and amazing on their own. Some are doing it for monetary reasons, and some simply bc they don't want one, but I think it's totally acceptable, especially when you have a ring like yours! Love it!
Always go with your gut--if it's telling you no band, then don't do it!

Veronica said...

I'm thrilled that there is sanity amongst us blogging brides. We are totally going with whatever we can afford and upgrading later. I never gave it a second thought.

Jessica F said...

I don't want a wedding band! I love my engagement ring and think adding another band would just make it lopsided and I just don't feel it is necessary. Do what you want! :)